We hope you are in a space of love, healing, and growth.
If you are like we are at Couture Purpose you are more than likely preparing to attend gobs of bridal showers, weddings, and anniversary celebrations…shoe shopping time! It is JUNE, and this is officially WEDDING SEASON.
After engaging in a series of conversations and events dedicated to marriage, we decided to align our June posts with all things marriage. Please enjoy the updated version of Why is She Married and Not ME with new insights.
Brilliance more than likely your mailbox is beginning to overflow with wedding invites. As one of the Couture Purpose’s Dreamers stated. “Here come the Women Questions.” Why are you not married? What happened to what’s his name? Did you talk to the man at church? Don’t you want to have kids? In my singleness, I was often asked these questions. As much as I responded with G-d orders my steps; I want to build businesses for my lineages; I am completing grad school or whatever else my soul decided to release, it never satisfied the sabotaging hunger of the one questioning me. I say sabotaging because anyone who is truly aligned with you, have their finger upon the pulse of your soul, and they know you are preparing for “Your Season.” Your soul tribe will not challenge your decisions because they know they are chosen to walk with you and that all things work for your good and growth.
The key I was given, and I want to bless you with is to CENTER YOURSELF for your MARRIAGE PLAN. (I’m yelling, because after 9 years of marriage I am in awe of how my YES Lord aligned me to be aligned with my divine marriage). I centered myself and REALLY listened to G-d for my Marriage Plan. You may ponder what is a Marriage Plan? A Marriage Plan is a divine plan designed to assist you with aligning yourself with your divine marriage. Does everyone have a Marriage Plan? Don’t know. Is a Marriage Plan worth investigating? YES, IT IS!
Sidebar; many will attempt to tell you whom they think you should marry. Be courageous enough to state what you want, and believe you can have it! I recall in my preparation season, so many had a “good guy” for me. I knew I was not expecting a “good guy” I was expecting the guy designed to align me on a deeper level with my purpose and destiny. Ladies, be wise when it comes to a “good guy.” What we in society label as “good” is often rejected by the universe ;>). I recall a time when a lady tried her best to convince me HE’S THE ONE. I inquired “The one what…!?”
At Couture Purpose, we are blessed to engage in many fabulous conversations with our girls. One subject that keeps popping up is Why is She Married and Not ME? We especially notice this question among women who see themselves as being set aside for marriage, not engaging in sex, and choosing not to date. Many women are wondering why the trap queen is getting married, and not them who see themselves as “Holy?” Yup, I went there…
After countless conversations…several things are clearer to us about women and marriage.
Let’s examine a few of those things…
First, she is married and not you because that’s the path her season followed, and you should never compare yourself to another woman. You do not know the sacrifices a woman embraced to receive her promise. It is not about looks, weight, race, economic status, or education. It is about the alignment of you and the soul mate G-d has intended for you. Secondly, she is married, and not you because you are in a season of preparation. Be bold and brave, and begin to seek what needs completion in your singleness. I knew I had to earn my MBA before marriage. Not only, did I complete my MBA, but I was aligned with my husband the same month after completion of my MBA. Thirdly, question what are you projecting into society? As a sociology geek, I love observing our societal behaviors and social media is a great Petri dish to observe society.
As I review my timelines, I see much retaliation, revenge, hurt, pain, guilt, vanity, competition, comparison, striving, and sabotage being projected by women. I truly wonder what a man thinks when he reads some of the statuses? Ladies, I suggest rethinking what you release in society. Many men are savvy enough; to understand what you release on your timelines is what lies in your souls. Do not fall prey to the thinking “Men are oblivious…” Think about the man you want to align your life, connect DNA, and produce fruit. Is he blind, stupid or incapable of discerning the proverbial “angry woman?” Think chica…
Lastly, as girls we take on many of our mother’s worldviews. You have to know the genetic imprint, which lies within your DNA. Sisters, you do not need to be a scientist to get a good idea of what’s in your gene pool. Observe, NOT JUDGE the women in your family. Are they married, single, or divorced? Listen to their hearts in respect to marriage. Take time and go back to your initial dating season. What was your mother’s reactions to the guy(s) you dated? Did you feel pressured to please mother while ignoring your desires? We have witnessed countless women marrying the man their families thought was good for them and the marriage failed to align with divine purpose.
You can glean much about your gene pool by simply listening and observing!!! Once you observe your past DO NOT JUDGE IT, bless your past, and free yourself from ALL SELF-INFLICTED GUILT and PRESSURE. So what it didn’t work out with Mr. Whoever. Yes, he said he loved you, and about 10 other women! STOP REHEARSING HURT and start practicing the life you want. Meaning, if you want to be a wife act like a wife.
Take that cooking class, put on those workout pants, and go running, allow yourself to DREAM AGAIN! And by all means release you, speak to your future self, say, “I am married, and I have a loving, passionate, aligned, and supportive marriage.”
Brilliance, we released this previous post with new insights because we are DREAM ADVOCATES, and if marriage is a part of your dreams, we are here to support your dreams.
What I seek seeks me…