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Rejected and Married-by-Guest Blogger-in-Residence-Dr. Tina Bedell

The popular girls at school didn’t want to eat with you in the cafeteria because you weren’t part of the “in” crowd. REJECTION! You didn’t make the cheerleading team because you weren’t skinny enough. REJECTION! You get the letter that reads, “Thank you for applying to our university, but after careful consideration we regret to inform you….” (Yea right). REJECTION! You are told, “We will keep your application on file” after you find out you weren’t chosen for the job you wanted. REJECTION! Your mother has a favorite, but you are not it. REJECTION! You receive a breakup text. REJECTION!  And the list goes on and on…..I think you get my drift. Why is rejection so hard? Because it sends the message that we are not good enough, that we suck, that we are not liked, that we are not accepted, and that we are unwanted.  We have all experienced rejection at some point in our lives.  However, rejection from the one you took vows with is a whole other issue. The pain is like no other pain. It cuts deeper. It stings harder. It’s the salt in the wound. It’s the punch in the gut. It’s the slap in the face.

 

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Rejection can occur in many forms in marriages. However, it’s typically gender specific. That is, women often feel emotionally rejected while men feel sexually rejected. This creates a pattern of the more he rejects her emotionally, the more she rejects him sexually and the more he is rejected sexually, the more she is rejected emotionally. It’s a vicious cycle. So let’s examine what each looks like.  Emotional rejection manifests as the silent treatment, ignoring, withholding affection, refusing to communicate, debating instead of validating feelings, belittling, being insensitive to feelings, shooting down dreams, being dismissive, etc. As a result of this type of rejection, many women experience a low libido. They may begin to feel used, see sex as repulsive, or resent their husbands’ sexual advances.  Wait a minute ladies before you start saying amen. Denying your husband sex for weeks, months, and even years is a travesty.  “I don’t feel good..”, “Get off of me…”, “I don’t like sex…”, and “Hurry up and finish…” are just a few things women say that makes their husbands feel rejected. Going to bed earlier and acting like you are asleep, purposely falling asleep in another room instead of in the marriage bed, or waiting for him to fall asleep is also indicative of sexual rejection. Sound familiar? Rejection in any form can be damaging and have long lasting effects.  You don’t have to accept a rejection of any type in your marriage.  So ladies…it’s time to evict rejection out of your marriage.  It’s gotten crowded, it doesn’t contribute and you will no longer feed it, nurture it, or play with it. Tell rejection, “You don’t have to go home but you have to get the “beep” out of here.”

 

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Hurt, anger, disappointment or any negative emotion has its origin in some form of rejection.  Repeated rejection in your marriage can cause major issues if it is not dealt with immediately and effectively. There are three ways that we deal with rejection: 1) shut down and internalize the pain; 2) act out the pain aggressively, or 3) use the pain for our good. The first two are obviously unproductive and unhealthy although the typical “go-to” responses. Now let’s see. If you shut down and internalize it, it will eat away at your soul.  If you act out the pain aggressively, you will make the situation worse, have regrets, and/or face dire consequences. What would happen if you used the rejection for your good? Sounds foreign? Likely. Is it possible? Definitely.  However, there must be a paradigm shift.  Recognize rejection for what it is and make a decision to go after it like a pit bull. Pray, seek counsel, self-examine, take responsibility, be committed to what you have control over, identify what’s not working, humble yourself, tear down pride, and do the right thing for YOU!

 

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Dr. Tina M. Bedell is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and has been counseling for over 20 years.  Dr. Bedell is also a Board Certified Life Coach. She has been well trained academically as evident by earning a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Ohio State University.  She has traveled extensively conducting presentations, seminars, and workshops as well as participating on various consulting teams, leadership councils, and ministry conferences.  Not only is she a skilled teacher and a conduit of change, she is an individual with wise counsel and unusual insight.  She has the uncanny ability to recognize growth areas as well as provide practical solutions that move individuals towards greater levels of prosperity.  Her gifts and skills expand across an array of professions which has provided her the opportunity to impact a number of disciplines and institutions.  Dr. Bedell’s desire is to see others operate with a spirit of excellence in their personal, professional, and spiritual lives.  Understanding that everyone has a destiny, her diligence is motivated by her determination to move individuals, businesses, and ministries from potential to purpose.

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She Has My Husband!!!

Brilliance,

We hope you are in a space of love, healing, and growth.

If you are like we are at Couture Purpose you are more than likely preparing to attend gobs of bridal showers, weddings, and anniversary celebrations…shoe shopping time! It is JUNE, and this is officially WEDDING SEASON.

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After engaging in a series of conversations and events dedicated to marriage, we decided to align our June posts with all things marriage. Please enjoy the updated version of Why is She Married and Not ME with new insights.

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Brilliance more than likely your mailbox is beginning to overflow with wedding invites. As one of the Couture Purpose’s Dreamers stated. “Here come the Women Questions.” Why are you not married? What happened to what’s his name? Did you talk to the man at church? Don’t you want to have kids? In my singleness, I was often asked these questions. As much as I responded with G-d orders my steps; I want to build businesses for my lineages; I am completing grad school or whatever else my soul decided to release, it never satisfied the sabotaging hunger of the one questioning me. I say sabotaging because anyone who is truly aligned with you, have their finger upon the pulse of your soul, and they know you are preparing for “Your Season.” Your soul tribe will not challenge your decisions because they know they are chosen to walk with you and that all things work for your good and growth.

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The key I was given, and I want to bless you with is to CENTER YOURSELF for your MARRIAGE PLAN. (I’m yelling, because after 9 years of marriage I am in awe of how my YES Lord aligned me to be aligned with my divine marriage). I centered myself and REALLY listened to G-d for my Marriage Plan. You may ponder what is a Marriage Plan? A Marriage Plan is a divine plan designed to assist you with aligning yourself with your divine marriage. Does everyone have a Marriage Plan? Don’t know. Is a Marriage Plan worth investigating? YES, IT IS!

Sidebar; many will attempt to tell you whom they think you should marry. Be courageous enough to state what you want, and believe you can have it! I recall in my preparation season, so many had a “good guy” for me. I knew I was not expecting a “good guy” I was expecting the guy designed to align me on a deeper level with my purpose and destiny. Ladies, be wise when it comes to a “good guy.” What we in society label as “good” is often rejected by the universe ;>). I recall a time when a lady tried her best to convince me HE’S THE ONE. I inquired “The one what…!?”

 

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At Couture Purpose, we are blessed to engage in many fabulous conversations with our girls. One subject that keeps popping up is Why is She Married and Not ME? We especially notice this question among women who see themselves as being set aside for marriage, not engaging in sex, and choosing not to date. Many women are wondering why the trap queen is getting married, and not them who see themselves as “Holy?” Yup, I went there…

After countless conversations…several things are clearer to us about women and marriage.

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Let’s examine a few of those things…

First, she is married and not you because that’s the path her season followed, and you should never compare yourself to another woman. You do not know the sacrifices a woman embraced to receive her promise. It is not about looks, weight, race, economic status, or education. It is about the alignment of you and the soul mate G-d has intended for you. Secondly, she is married, and not you because you are in a season of preparation. Be bold and brave, and begin to seek what needs completion in your singleness. I knew I had to earn my MBA before marriage. Not only, did I complete my MBA, but I was aligned with my husband the same month after completion of my MBA. Thirdly, question what are you projecting into society? As a sociology geek, I love observing our societal behaviors and social media is a great Petri dish to observe society.

As I review my timelines, I see much retaliation, revenge, hurt, pain, guilt, vanity, competition, comparison, striving, and sabotage being projected by women. I truly wonder what a man thinks when he reads some of the statuses? Ladies, I suggest rethinking what you release in society. Many men are savvy enough; to understand what you release on your timelines is what lies in your souls. Do not fall prey to the thinking “Men are oblivious…” Think about the man you want to align your life, connect DNA, and produce fruit. Is he blind, stupid or incapable of discerning the proverbial “angry woman?” Think chica…

Lastly, as girls we take on many of our mother’s worldviews. You have to know the genetic imprint, which lies within your DNA. Sisters, you do not need to be a scientist to get a good idea of what’s in your gene pool. Observe, NOT JUDGE the women in your family. Are they married, single, or divorced? Listen to their hearts in respect to marriage. Take time and go back to your initial dating season. What was your mother’s reactions to the guy(s) you dated? Did you feel pressured to please mother while ignoring your desires? We have witnessed countless women marrying the man their families thought was good for them and the marriage failed to align with divine purpose.

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You can glean much about your gene pool by simply listening and observing!!! Once you observe your past DO NOT JUDGE IT, bless your past, and free yourself from ALL SELF-INFLICTED GUILT and PRESSURE. So what it didn’t work out with Mr. Whoever. Yes, he said he loved you, and about 10 other women! STOP REHEARSING HURT and start practicing the life you want. Meaning, if you want to be a wife act like a wife.

Take that cooking class, put on those workout pants, and go running, allow yourself to DREAM AGAIN! And by all means release you, speak to your future self, say, “I am married, and I have a loving, passionate, aligned, and supportive marriage.”

Brilliance, we released this previous post with new insights because we are DREAM ADVOCATES, and if marriage is a part of your dreams, we are here to support your dreams.

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Designed Statement:

What I seek seeks me…

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Chosen to “BE YOU”-by-Guest Blogger-in-Residence-Kimberly Harden

“Ain’t no wrong or no right, just a blessing of the lesson
Clear your path, sing your song, nice and strong and amplifying
Be new, put your past behind you and be you, authentically you
So be new, put your past behind you and be you, authentically you.”
(Kindred the Family Soul)

 

In the realm of personal development, the word “authenticity” is used often. However, the term is a superficial adjective that generally refers to being original without necessarily involving any genuineness of being. Authenticity involves more than being one of a kind; it implies being truthful and realistic when answering the question: WHO ARE YOU?
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Authenticity is not about looking a certain way (i.e. being stylish or funky). Rather it is, according to psychologists Brian Goldman and Michael Kernis, “the unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise.” Authentic individuals are those who are deeply aware of how they think and feel; they accept their strengths and weaknesses, work to increase their knowledge, and align their actions and behaviors with their values. Authentic individuals have a desire to serve others; are interested in empowering the people they lead; and are guided by their heart, passion, and compassion as well as their mind. They are positive role models by setting high moral standards, honesty and integrity.

 

 

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Self-awareness and reflective practice are the heart of authenticity. A self-aware person recognizes how their feelings affect them, other people, and their job performance. Self-aware people value constructive criticism and feel comfortable talking about their limitations and strengths. According to Daniel Goleman, self-aware individuals are “neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful; rather, they are honest with themselves and with others. Someone who is highly self-aware knows where he is headed and why.”

 

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The question today, Brilliance, are you being “authentically you?” If so, where are you headed and why?

 

 

 

As an adept and authentic educator, Kimberly Harden is committed to helping others improve their communication and leadership skills. Due to her expertise in communication and leadership studies and her revolutionary approach to teaching, Kimberly is a much sought after speaker and guest lecturer in a variety of venues, including the annual International Leadership Association conference. She developed and abides by the LEAD Philosophy which emphasizes love, enthusiasm, awareness, and development. Kimberly motivates students and audience members to take ownership of their education and apply what they learn to their daily lives in order to grow not only personally and professionally, but also to become effective contributors to society. According to Kimberly, “Education is only as good as what it helps us accomplish. It must be active, it must engage our lives, and it must be a process that never ends.” Kimberly earned a master’s degree from Gonzaga University and is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in transformative educational leadership.

 

 

Images courtesy of Pixabay

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The Battle between Rejection and Prosperity-Guest Blogger-in-Residence-Lana Hooks

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The title declares there is a combat; an attack, one entity against the other. I call Rejection, Prosperity and two more you’ll meet entities. This is why they are italicized. By their definition these are energies that once believed fulfills its intent, motive and desire of the living vessel. Prosperity by definition is, “a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects.”1 Whereas Rejection states, “this is an active refusal to respond to a child’s/ (adult’s) [my input] needs (e.g., refusing to touch a child, denying the needs of a child, ridiculing a child).”2

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Prosperity includes excellent of health (mind, body, emotions), successful business (self-employed, or care and growth of opportunities at workplace), thriving relationships (family, extended family, friends, colleagues, peers) and spiritual enlightenment (growth in your relationship with the Creator and self). Each of these facets calls an abundance of creativity, currency, and like-minded people in your neurological topography, funding interchange, and geographical space. In fact, isn’t this is the end game? But what is the blockage from receiving these core structures?

 

 

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As children you are taught values and beliefs by external conditioning. Parents, caregivers, stewards, or those in authority and position teach you what they believe as their truth. Blindly, at times, passing down their truths without thinking did this belief work for them? Most times not, but what was good for them is good for you, their child. Right?

How many of you were told that “money doesn’t grow on trees?” Time after time you asked for money and they said, “I don’t have it,” or, “Money is the root of all evil,” which was inaccurate. The biblical verse states, “For the LOVE of money is A root of all evil…”3 You eventually stopped asking. Your brain’s interpretation of these statements was, “I am not worthy to have my needs and wants met. I don’t deserve to have money in my life because my family didn’t have money either.” Not only is there a lack in money but health, relationships, business and employment as well. The brain does not discern one dynamic from the other. It operates off of the belief that you’re unworthy and undeserving. This is Rejection’s verbiage coinciding with your belief system.

If not uprooted and sent new messages through the neurons (that can grow new cells) out of the hippocampus, as adults, you will operate in these old messages of familial beliefs. If that is so, then operating in Rejection’s beliefs will continue until there is Divine intervention. This intervention will be severe, needed, and at some point, you asked for it (and no, you won’t know how the intervention will dress itself), but it will take center stage. It will shockingly awaken you from a self-induced slumber that protected your soul from further feeling the pain of Lack. Enter Awareness.

Dressed to the nine’s, she stands on the stage of your brain, in your harrowing situation to deliver the Creator’s original record of your creation. Defying the conditions of your life she recites your authentic nature, your inherent wealth, and your divine birthright. She knows she has your attention. What she is saying resonates in your soul, and you know you have a choice to make.

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Sen, author of “What is Awareness?”basically awareness is this power of pure observation. Thoughts create interpretations, feelings create emotions and events are again created by thoughts in the mind – all of this can be observed in pure awareness.”4

Sen, also states that, “…in that sense the awareness of your brain is connected with the awareness of the wholeness of life-energy, this is how you connect with wisdom, instinct, intuition and inner-guidance. The stronger the awareness in your brain the more receptive you are to the intelligence of life, because when your brain is more aware it connects more firmly with the awareness of the wholeness of life.”5

I know your goal, as mine, is to enjoy Prosperity’s riches in the aforementioned above areas. Then Awareness must be awakened to connect you back to the ‘Wholeness of Life.’ This doesn’t mean that harsh circumstances won’t still occur from time to time. But with Awareness at the forefront you can maneuver through situations with eyes wide open, learning what needs to be learned and to grow from the experience. Awareness is the key that ceases Rejection’s voice and plants your foot one step closer to your unique, defined Prosperity.

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Lana M. Hooks is the Chief Editor of PharSide Coed Book Club that advises #emergingauthors in removing the apprehension in writing their story. This editing group walks with the author ensuring their voice is heightened and content is written to engage their tribe. Memoirs, inspirational, and transformational stories are by and large this group’s forte. With several new authors under their belt PharSide recognizes that these voices and their stories are the blueprint for those who choose to listen and heed.

Lana is a first-time author of Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection, a #memoir. She’s a speaker and advocate for #EmotionalAbuseAwareness. Most recently Lana accepted a board appointment to N.E.X.T. Level Empowerment Group a Kentucky based group to empower women to be transformed to the next level in their lives.

After researching the devastating tolls of emotional abuse, Lana saw it advantageous to include workbooks with the memoir. The workbooks are intended to expose and extract wounds infiltrated in the soul.  In the workbooks, Lana breaks down how soul wounds are healed and how one may experience restored thinking, behavior and, live in their #authentic nature. It is Lana’s strong desire that no child is left with an emotional legacy like the entity “Rejection”, or others, without a blueprint left for them to navigate out of Rejection’s lair and their #awareness awakened.

Lana is available to speak at book clubs, women’s groups, spiritual gatherings or panels on Emotional Abuse Awareness. You can visit her website and subscribe to bi-weekly blogs on Emotional Abuse and inspirational quotes. Visit https://www.createspace.com/5102704 and get your copy of Dirty Breath: Trapped by Rejection.

Contact Lana at:

Lana M. Hooks

authorlmhooks@gmail.com

404.437.1869

www.lanamhooks.com

 

Image credits: Pixabay

 

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THRIVE

Brilliance-

We have one focus for the month of March!

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Designed Statement:

I THRIVE in every space I enter!

 

 

 

 

Infinite Brilliance,

Couture Purpose

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Success is A Personal Pronoun by February 2015 Blogger-in-Residence-Monica Leak

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Think back to first-grade language arts when you were formally introduced to the parts of speech. There were nouns, verbs, direct objects, adjectives and prepositions and these things called pronouns. Pronouns indicate the person speaking or the person spoken about. Remember the chart with the singular and plural sides and starting on the singular side you had I, You, He, She, It and then on the Plural side we, you, they. These personal pronouns can take the place of nouns or other pronouns. Flashback to Saturday mornings and Schoolhouse rock and maybe the link below will jog your memory. So what’s that got to do with success? For many success is tied to attainment of academic degrees and accolades, their position whether chief executive officer or chief operating officers, their sphere of influence and wealth. While these stated items may be barometers by which society measures someone’s level of success, success can be a personal pronoun.

 

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As a personal pronoun success equals I, success equals you, success equals he and she, success equals we and success equals themy. Success is a factor in an equation in which you are the subject whether your name is Anna Marie or Estella Rose. So how do you function in this semantic equation? First you can function in multiple spheres of influence being either singular or plural. You can be a success as an individual but also can as a team utilize your skills and talents to achieve success in community. Secondly as a personal pronoun success becomes synonymous with who you are. Your integrity, the spirit of excellence that you put forth in every project and presentation and reaching across the aisle to bring people with differing views together to work as a team to complete a task speak to who you are. Those small things that are second nature to you are those characteristics that make you the unique, fabulous and fierce individual equal success. Finally without success as a personal pronoun you have an expression with an equals sign with no factors to balance it out.   As the brilliant person you are, you are designed to make statements so what clearer statement can there be than you equal success. Be it. Live it. Walk it out.

 

Monica Leak is a speech language pathologist with the Charles County Public Schools in Maryland. She holds the Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech Language Hearing Association (ASHA). She has worked as a speech language pathologist for over ten years and within this position has been involved in research, conference planning and grant writing, and program development on state and regional levels. Actively involved in the community, she is mentor with Community Lodgings, a transitional residential facility in Alexandria, Virginia and volunteers with Health Partners in Charles County, Maryland.

She received her Bachelor of Science degree from Appalachian State University in the area of Communication Disorders and a Master of Arts degree from South Carolina State University in Speech Language Pathology and Audiology. She holds a Master’s of Library Science from North Carolina Central University. She is currently working on her Master’s of Divinity degree at John Leland Center for Theological Studies in Arlington, VA. She currently serves as an associate minister and Church school teacher First Baptist Church Vienna in Vienna, Virginia.

 

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Pain and Prosperity: The Struggle Is Real by February 2015 Blogger-in-Residence-Monica Leak

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Check minute 3:20 when Biggie describes the real struggle of pain and prosperity. There’s this idea of jealousy and envy and having to look over your shoulder when you come into a prosperous place. That is some burden to bear if something that is supposed to contribute to a better life become a source of pain.   The title of the song itself puts it pretty bluntly, Mo Money Mo Problems. The hook in the song says, “I don’t know what, they want from me. It’s like the more money we come across. The more problems we see.” The layered lyrics of this now classic hip hop song from back in the day reflects the battle between pain and prosperity. Who is supposed to prosper? Are Wall Street CEOs who make millions of dollars off the backs of those they employ only to downsize and amass for themselves larger salaries to prosper? The congressmen and senators who take bribes under the table but claim to speak for their constituency? Every magazine cover has celebrities who have made millions at the box office but behind closed doors are stories of pain and inner turmoil. Who would have thought that an actor who made us laugh, cry, laugh, think, wonder, and laugh again would take his life? From the outside looking in it would appear that Robin Williams had the prosperity, but he also suffered in silent pain. Pain and prosperity are siblings with a long held rivalry that goes back to the Garden of Eden.

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Prosperity rested in the tree of knowledge of good and evil while Pain lingered in restless state until a choice was made and Pain came into the family picture so that Prosperity which was once within easy reach now became something that required work and effort. The question is can we have prosperity without pain? Pain and prosperity appear to be a package deal; you can’t have one without the other. The struggle is real when you are grinding every day and doing what you have to do to not only survive but to succeed but see those who make little or no effort prosper. Or maybe you are prospering yet dealing with what feels like an insurmountable pain. Even pain like cancer can go into remission leaving you with prosperity and even if both arrive at your door at the same time you have the following strategies: 1. Acknowledge the source, 2. Be a good steward and 3. Be joyful. When you acknowledge the pain and identify its source, you know how to address and heal the pain. When you acknowledge the source of your prosperity with something as a simple thank you, you unlock the door and open the window for more to release to you. A good steward is one who manages well the resources that have been entrusted to their care. Whether you have one thin dime to your name or a portfolio of massive stock options, being a good steward enables you to not only be content but to also know how to act when blessed with more without getting all stank and brand new. Joy is contagious and when it resides with you and in you all that is around you will either align with your joy, chill or find itself another hangout. While the struggle between pain and prosperity may be a real one, your overcoming success is revealed in responding with acknowledgment, good stewardship and being joyful.

 

 

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Monica Leak is a speech language pathologist with the Charles County Public Schools in Maryland. She holds the Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech Language Hearing Association (ASHA). She has worked as a speech language pathologist for over ten years and within this position has been involved in research, conference planning and grant writing, and program development on state and regional levels. Actively involved in the community, she is mentor with Community Lodgings, a transitional residential facility in Alexandria, Virginia and volunteers with Health Partners in Charles County, Maryland.

She received her Bachelor of Science degree from Appalachian State University in the area of Communication Disorders and a Master of Arts degree from South Carolina State University in Speech Language Pathology and Audiology. She holds a Master’s of Library Science from North Carolina Central University. She is currently working on her Master’s of Divinity degree at John Leland Center for Theological Studies in Arlington, VA. She currently serves as an associate minister and Church school teacher First Baptist Church Vienna in Vienna, Virginia.

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Finding Purpose Past the Pain by February 2015 Blogger-in-Residence-Monica Leak

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In 2002 Pastor, Rick Warren released a book entitled The Purpose Driven Life. The book became an instant bestseller that according to Publisher’s Weekly was the bestselling nonfiction work in history on the basis of its answer to this fundamental question, what on earth am I here for? The book took on a life of its own as people across the world gathered in churches and small groups to take this journey with the result being that of discovering of purpose. The question of purpose raises its head in so many different ways. Students may question the purpose for a specific course that seemingly has no relevance or employees may question in the workplace the purpose of a particular task comes especially when it doesn’t appear to suit the entire project. Yet in all of these efforts to understand purpose whether in a small group study or some reflective personal journey the issue of pain in that process is often glossed over or hidden from view like an unwanted blemish that’s best covered up with some form of concealer.

 

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Seriously, who goes looking for pain? Physical suffering or distress or emotional suffering or torment is how pain is defined by the Random House Dictionary. Life is not without pain. The pain of losing a parent, the pain of separation and divorce, the pain of a miscarriage, the pain of a doctor’s diagnosis appear as an uninvited guest to life’s celebration. If your name is not on the guest list for an event you are kindly asked to leave and if I had my way, pain the uninvited guest would be kindly asked to leave the premises. Pain however viewed has its purpose. Pain serves as a warning system to the body that something is wrong, or something is out of alignment. Pain in our lives whether mental, physical, emotional or spiritual produces that same warning signal. When we get that warning signal, what do you do? You can choose to do one of the two things either ignore the pain or do something to address the pain. How do we effectively manage our pain? We can seek professional counseling, find support groups, reach out to that confident who knows us like that back of her hand, change of diet, exercise, removing unnecessary stressors etc., can aid us in better pain management. Sometimes the pain becomes comfortable. You can become so used to it that you can barely recognize when it changes because you have dealt with it for so long so in one sense pain can even motivate us. Pain can push us out of our comfortable stuck in pain mode into a space that causes us to act and pushes us to do something different, to ask the hard questions of those who are healers of pain and demand the answers. Pain also brings things into focus. The very nature of things becomes clearer in the midst of pain as you notice the fine details or pick up on words unsaid or actions that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Finally, the pain can strengthen our resolve to soar above and go beyond the limits of our pain to see the purpose in it and walk in the purpose destined for our lives.

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“Losing Myself to Find Me”-February 2015 Blogger-in-Residence-Monica Leak

Hear My Call Lyrics (Verse 2)

“I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can’t see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so.” -Jill Scott

Being lost is not necessarily desirable. When you set out towards a destination being lost is not in the plan. You took all the right precautions. You prepared yourself the night before and ran through the checklist. Called the host or point of contact to confirm the logistics with the correct address and directions. May have used Google maps, MapQuest, Verizon navigator to enter the address so you can get a feel or familiarity with the planned route. Even left the house in plenty of time to factor in the possibility of getting lost allowing an extra twenty minutes or so but lost. Being lost for some can trigger that high level of panic and cause frustration. This frustration occurs as you think about what am I going to do or I’m going to be late, or the damn my is dead.

So what do you do when you lose yourself? Loss of self is not the same as losing your car keys, a major report or misplacing your cell phone. You can get a duplicate set of keys. You can recover your report. For a misplaced cell phone, well call the number and listen for the ring. When you lose yourself, it’s like all those pieces that made you uniquely you are scattered in fragments and so the effort to get back appears daunting. Like with the keys, the report and cell phone, you can be found and recovered. First, retrace your steps. Go back to the beginning. What was that one thing that motivated you to get up in the morning excited about what you were going to do the next day? What was it that inspired you and caused all the wheels in your head to turn with an idea after idea? What was that thing that even if you didn’t get paid for it you do it just because it made you happy? The process of retracing your steps is one of discovery. It allows for the connection of the nouns of life the people, the places and things to come together in memory to take shape and find a form in you. You that is introverted, dances, sings in the shower or keeps their feet to the ground is discovered in those steps. Check your surroundings. Your surroundings can be the difference between arriving at your destination or being in the middle of nowhere. Check for drop off and pick up points. There are some people, places and things that will be of value to you that you pick up. And those which you will need to drop off at the Goodwill because they will be of more value to someone else. Still there are those that just need to go to the trash bin so you dump that and keep it moving. It’s easy when you’re lost to just give up and go back home but that doesn’t get you to the destination. In retracing your steps and checking surroundings, the lost becomes found, and all that’s left is to continue the journey.

Enjoy the Journey…

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re-Stored

Happy re-STORED You Brilliance-

Instead of bombarding you with do this in 2015, do that in 2015 blah blah blah. Couture Purpose encourages you to consider these 15 AFFIRMations for a re-STORED YOU.

 

CP-HappyNewYear-2015

2015 Affirmations

 

  1. I am God’s answer to universal questions.
  2. I am hope for my generation.
  3. I am always loved, supported and valued.
  4. I am a continuous learner, creative thinker and agent of change.
  5. I am the epitome of beauty.
  6. I am vision proceeding movement.
  7. I accept…
  8. Debts leave me now.
  9. All my emotions are free.
  10. I constantly express myself.
  11. I constantly experience quantum leaps.
  12. The universe guards and enables my destiny and purpose.
  13. I clearly express my mind, spirit and soul.
  14. The next generation will benefit from my boldness, courage and intelligence.
  15. Money is a constant current which flows to me.

 

Designed Statement:

I am re-STORED

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